Changing relationships
As we go through adolescence, we increasingly spend more time with our friends and less time with our family. Parents and family still play an important role in most young people's lives by providing love, support and guidance as young people find their way to adulthood.
Forming a close group of friends who support you and to whom you feel connected can contribute to a positive sense of self. This group of friends is your peer group. Many young people want to be like their friends and want to be popular within their peer group. Sometimes, your peer group can put pressure on you to do certain things. This pressure may be negative, such as the pressure to smoke, or positive, such as encouragement to play sport. If you are being pressured to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, it is a good idea to talk to someone (such as your parent or a teacher) about it and try to work out some strategies to deal with the issue. Just as our family influences us during childhood, our peer group plays a big role in helping to define who we are during adolescence.
During adolescence, there are times when we feel like, and want to be treated as, an adult; at other times, we feel like a child and want the security that our family gives us. Conflict with parents can occur when we want to do things independently. Parents worry because they know that young people sometimes take risks when they are out with friends. Try to work things out with your parents when a conflict arises. Listen to what they have to say, then talk to them about what you need. Share your ideas about what you can do to keep safe.
During adolescence, we start to become more aware of our sexuality and we can develop a desire or sexual attraction for another person. That other person can be someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. We may form a relationship with that person. In early adolescence, these relationships usually last for a short period. In late adolescence, relationships usually last longer and become more significant.
In late adolescence, it is common for parents, family and teachers to start to increase their expectations of you. Your parents will expect you to take more responsibility for the freedom that you want, including making decisions for yourself. Some of these decisions will be value-based, such as what's right and what's wrong. People will expect you to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions. This responsibility includes making decisions and accepting the consequences of those decisions.
Social change is about making new relationships that are independent of family, making decisions for yourself and taking responsibility for those decisions. These experiences help you develop a better understanding of yourself and will influence the path you choose in life.
Emotional maturity
Developing an understanding of emotions and feelings is part of the emotional change that happens during adolescence. Children often do not understand their feelings and can act out feelings in negative ways, such as by starting fights and arguing. As we grow and mature emotionally, we become better at understanding and managing our feelings and behaviours.
Some changes that show us we are maturing emotionally include:
What does it mean to be ‘mature’?
The rate at which we mature physically and emotionally is different for all of us. As we have learnt, in most cases, girls start to physically mature before boys and tend to reach physical maturity before boys. Some young people who physically mature early may be put in situations in which they are expected to be more emotionally mature than they actually are. Remember, just because a person is physically mature, we cannot assume they are emotionally mature, and just because a person is emotionally mature, we cannot assume they are physically mature.
Emotional maturity can vary significantly among adolescents of the same age. The rate at which a person matures emotionally depends on a range of factors, including how they are treated by their parents and family, their personality, their relationships with other people (including their peers) and the expectations placed on them. Look around at the people in your year at school. You can probably identify those who are more mature by the respectful way in which they treat others and the positive way in which they deal with their emotions.
ACTIVITIES
I'm just 12!
Divide into small groups, read the scenario below and answer the questions that follow.
As we go through adolescence, we increasingly spend more time with our friends and less time with our family. Parents and family still play an important role in most young people's lives by providing love, support and guidance as young people find their way to adulthood.
Forming a close group of friends who support you and to whom you feel connected can contribute to a positive sense of self. This group of friends is your peer group. Many young people want to be like their friends and want to be popular within their peer group. Sometimes, your peer group can put pressure on you to do certain things. This pressure may be negative, such as the pressure to smoke, or positive, such as encouragement to play sport. If you are being pressured to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, it is a good idea to talk to someone (such as your parent or a teacher) about it and try to work out some strategies to deal with the issue. Just as our family influences us during childhood, our peer group plays a big role in helping to define who we are during adolescence.
During adolescence, there are times when we feel like, and want to be treated as, an adult; at other times, we feel like a child and want the security that our family gives us. Conflict with parents can occur when we want to do things independently. Parents worry because they know that young people sometimes take risks when they are out with friends. Try to work things out with your parents when a conflict arises. Listen to what they have to say, then talk to them about what you need. Share your ideas about what you can do to keep safe.
During adolescence, we start to become more aware of our sexuality and we can develop a desire or sexual attraction for another person. That other person can be someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. We may form a relationship with that person. In early adolescence, these relationships usually last for a short period. In late adolescence, relationships usually last longer and become more significant.
In late adolescence, it is common for parents, family and teachers to start to increase their expectations of you. Your parents will expect you to take more responsibility for the freedom that you want, including making decisions for yourself. Some of these decisions will be value-based, such as what's right and what's wrong. People will expect you to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions. This responsibility includes making decisions and accepting the consequences of those decisions.
Social change is about making new relationships that are independent of family, making decisions for yourself and taking responsibility for those decisions. These experiences help you develop a better understanding of yourself and will influence the path you choose in life.
Emotional maturity
Developing an understanding of emotions and feelings is part of the emotional change that happens during adolescence. Children often do not understand their feelings and can act out feelings in negative ways, such as by starting fights and arguing. As we grow and mature emotionally, we become better at understanding and managing our feelings and behaviours.
Some changes that show us we are maturing emotionally include:
- identifying our own feelings
- using our feelings to make good decisions
- managing stressful moods
- controlling impulses
- being motivated and optimistic
- bouncing back after a difficult time
- managing our emotions in a positive way
- communicating with others in a respectful way
- expressing ourselves appropriately
- planning for the future and goal-setting
- solving problems rather than avoiding them
- resolving conflicts in non-violent ways.
What does it mean to be ‘mature’?
The rate at which we mature physically and emotionally is different for all of us. As we have learnt, in most cases, girls start to physically mature before boys and tend to reach physical maturity before boys. Some young people who physically mature early may be put in situations in which they are expected to be more emotionally mature than they actually are. Remember, just because a person is physically mature, we cannot assume they are emotionally mature, and just because a person is emotionally mature, we cannot assume they are physically mature.
Emotional maturity can vary significantly among adolescents of the same age. The rate at which a person matures emotionally depends on a range of factors, including how they are treated by their parents and family, their personality, their relationships with other people (including their peers) and the expectations placed on them. Look around at the people in your year at school. You can probably identify those who are more mature by the respectful way in which they treat others and the positive way in which they deal with their emotions.
ACTIVITIES
I'm just 12!
Divide into small groups, read the scenario below and answer the questions that follow.
Andrea is a 12-year-old girl who has physically matured into a young woman. Ben, who is 17 years old and in Year 11, starts to give her lots of attention and lets her know he is sexually attracted to her. He is treating her as being much older than she is. She has never experienced this situation before and doesn't know what to do.
- What might Andrea be feeling?
- What might Andrea do or say to manage this situation?
- Brainstorm why a relationship between a 12-year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy is not a good idea.
EXTENSION ACTIVITIES (answer the questions below in a Google document titled 'Emotional and Social Changes')
- Explain what is meant by ‘managing your emotions in a positive way’. Give at least one example to support your explanation.
- What are five characteristics of an emotionally mature person?
- Identify ways in which you can resolve conflict using compromise.
- From the information in this lesson and your own experience, outline strategies that are or would be effective for managing stress.
- What advice would you give a good friend to help them express their feelings and thoughts in a positive way?
- What are the possible outcomes when you express your feelings and thoughts in a positive way?